Thursday, February 5, 2009

Are you a Can or a Can't??

An other sunny day, hooray!!
My title was prompted by a phone conversation I recently had. This is a lovely person that I like very much, but have to admit that sometimes I hurry off the phone. The conversations always lead to mentions of her not being up to par, her memory not as sharp. Her living arrangements not being good and on it goes. Now, at this point I need to mention that she is in her late 80's, in excellent health and I have yet to see signs of poor mental functioning. In the recent talk it was mentioned that she did not feel comfortable where she was living as she is in her daughter's home. I felt obligated at this point to tell her that I had never heard the smallest hint from her daughter indicating that she was a burden. Quite the contrary, her daughter has always had nothing but praise for all the help her Mom gives her. I went on the ask if maybe she was putting this on herself. That maybe if she really thought about it she would realize that her concerns were for naught. She contributes to the household in many ways, financialy and by being a huge help. She thought for a minute and said maybe I was right as her daughter had never said anything negative. As the conversation went on we discussed that she likes to paint but had no place to do it. This is a larger old farmhouse, bigger then mine with an unfinished attic. I asked if maybe she could finish off a corner of the attic and make it a place to put her art supplies. The answer to this way that she was waiting for God to tell her what to do. This lady has been involved with the church for I believe her whole life, and has done many wonderful things with the church. I love the faith she has and how she has lived it, nothing at all wrong with that. As I told her, I tend to be more about the Lord helps those that help themselves.

So, back we are to the title. It seems to me that so often we cripple ourselves, by having negative attitudes about our lives. I know people ,that when ever I mention a plan or a thought, their immediate reaction is to tell me all the reasons it will not work. I told Jim that it is a good thing I believe in myself, otherwise I would not try anything. Unfortunately, the end result of their negativity is that I spend less time with them. I sometimes find myself being more about the can't then the cans, and have to have a talk with myself and get back on track. I have family members who spend their lives blaming everyone else for all their misfortunes. They brought their children up with the thought that basically nothing was their fault, but everyone else being against them. Some times you have to look so hard to find the good in things, but it is there. What is at the time perceived as a disaster can often be the precursor to something great. I can personally attest to that, at the time you can be so stressed that there does not seem any hope. Lo and behold, time passes, we have survived and things are better. Not to say that something else won't go wrong.

I feel that being more like the little engine that could, takes us much further. If we are all about cant's we are tripping ourselves at the start. Of course, we need to be realistic and think things through, but with a positive spin to things. Figure out how to fix what is wrong instead of throwing our hands up and moaning we can't. Sure, there are going to be times that things are not going to work, learning from those times can make the future better.

OK, that is all the deep thoughts I have for today. I am going to enjoy the sun and the promise of some warmer temperatures for the next few day! Thank you for listening and I look forward to your spin on things. The current good thing for me is that Jim should be home tonight, yes!! I think I still remember what he looks like. He says the whole back seat of the car is full of dirty clothes, oh great. I know what I will be doing all weekend.
Enjoy your day and thank you for your visit.


joanne said...

i think you are really right about this and think this is a great post...and i think it is important for me to be more aware of the times i can fall into the "can't" kind of thinking...what can be very easy for me to observe in someone else is harder to see in myself...very good reminder to become aware of these times and stop myself inside of them...

Joanne said...

I feel that pretty much if someone has a desire or goal, there is a way to be mapped out to reach it. I don't spend time with people who try to suggest otherwise, either. One small step at a time usually works pretty well in getting to where we want to be, either actually or in moving forward with our pursuits and passions.

By the way, it is only 15 degrees here today!! Enjoy your sunshine and warmth, send a little New England's way!

Mary said...


I think we put a lot of things upon ourselves. My mother is 81 and she is always saying she hates to be a burden. She attends church and has dozens of hobbies. Until this winter she has always been very independent, but due to a bad leg, she can't drive at present. She tends to think too much.

I always try to be very positive about everything. When one door closes another opens quite often. I do believe everything happens for a reason.

Enjoyed your post and thanks for visiting. I'm glad you enjoyed the photos of Dakota.


Karen said...

I enjoyed this post and it is the gentle nudge I've been needing to get out of a "funk." God helps those who helps themselves. Good words to live by. Hope you're enjoying your weekend!

Jo said...

Great post... It sure gives a person food for thought and the opportunity to do some soul searching. That is a good thing though. I think we all need to take some time every now and again and really look within and clean things up.

A lot like cleaning the dirty clothes out of Jim's backseat and doing some laundry,

Hope your weekend was fantastic and the coming week blessed with happiness.

Nancy said...

I believe negative people can drag a person down. My mother was a negative person....drove me crazy! And she lived with me, too. I am an upbeat person....I can do anything anyone else can do! LOL And you and I both know, we can do it just as well as any man can! LOL That's MY attitude! I HAVE to stay positive as I have 2 bathrooms where I want to lay ceramic floors. My large foyer is done, and the area by the back door is done now. After the bathrooms will come the kitchen! Amen to that!

It's just all in the way one thinks....The Little Engine that Could....I remember reading that to my children when they were small and instilling that lesson in them. They are do-ers, too!

Great post, Barbara!

((( HUGS )))

violetlady said...

Wow, do I agree with you. Thanks for expressing it so well.